August 23, 2015. Arrival to Indonesia.
Week 1: (Shrieks) !*@#^&$. Lizards on my ceiling. Why are they making that croaking noise? Send help.
Week 2: You, lizards, scare the shit out of me with your swift movements that I catch from the corner of my eye. But…you eat the bugs. You’re kind of cute. Make yourselves comfortable. But remember, I am big and scary. Keep your distance.
Week 3: Hears story about daddy lizard consuming baby lizard. No longer cute. Reminds self they eat bugs.
Week 4 – Month 5: (Walks into bedroom and sees lizards) “‘Sup roomies?”
Month 5: Why is there lizard feces on my floor? They hang out on the walls. Weird.
Month 5, Week 2: Why is there lizard feces on my faucet? Impressive.
Month 5, Week 3: WHY is there lizard feces on my bed? I do not think I’m comfortable with that.
Month 5, Week 4: That is a lizard scurrying across my headboard. Envisions lizards crawling down esophagus mid-sleep. Send help.
Month 6 – Present: Lizards, please stay off my bed and I will stop having conversations with you. Deal?
Lesson #7: It’s not about how comfortable you become with the lizards, it’s about how comfortable they become with you.